FAO Tulla :)

Twenty-one reasons why English is hard to learn.

The buck does funny things when does are present.

The bandage was wound around the wound.

The farm was used to produce produce.

The dump was so full it had to refuse more refuse.

We must polish the Polish furniture.

He could lead if he would get the lead out.

The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.

Since there was no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.

A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.

When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.

I did not object to the object.

The insurance was invalid for the invalid.

There was a row among the oarsmen on how to row.

They were too close to the door to close it.

A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.

To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.

The wind was too strong to wind the sail.

After a number of injections my jaw got number.

Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.

I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.

How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

Any questions?

Let's face it -- English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.

We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one loose tooth, 2 leese teeth? One index, 2 indices?

Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend, that you comb through annals of history but not a single annal? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

If teachers taught, why didn't preacher praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? If you wrote a letter, perhaps you bote your tongue?

Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo or a truck by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell? Park on driveways and drive on parkways? Lift a thumb to thumb a lift? Table a plan in order to plan a table?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and wise guy are opposites? How can overlook and oversee be opposites, while quite a lot and quite a few are alike? How can a person be "pretty ugly?"

How can the weather be hot as hell one day and cold as hell another. Have you noticed that we talk about certain things only when they are absent? Have you ever seen a horseful carriage or a strapful gown? Met a sung hero or experienced requited love? Have you ever run into someone who was combobulated, gruntled, ruly or peccable? And where are all those people who *are* spring chickens or who would actually hurt a fly?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which an alarm clock goes off by going on. Why is "crazy man" an insult, while to insert a comma and say "crazy, man!" is a compliment (as when applauding a jazz performance.)

English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race (which, of course, isn't a race at all). That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible. And why, when I wind up my watch, I start it, but when I wind up this essay, I end it.

Yes it?s funny. I noticed years ago already that you have similar words for the most different things/ meanings. So if you don?t understand the sense of a sentence at all, you?ll never figure out what meaning of a certain word - which also has a different meaning - was meant. We have similar ?meaning twins? in german but by far not that many, which why the german vocabulary is far bigger than the english one and harder to learn.

A german will never learn proper english at school. They may learn the words, how to spell them and how to speak them but when it comes to a complex conversation, they?ll be lost. Also the ?tenses?are hard to learn. Our 12 year old son has to learn the irregular english verbs in all its tenses at school, these weeks. Though I can help him alot, sometimes I?m really wondering about the sense behind some tenses:

On one hand it?s ?see?, ?saw?, ?saw? or ?buy?, ?bought?, ?bought? and then again it?s ?rise?, ?rose?, ?risen? or ?fall?, ?fell?, ?fallen?.

And the sentence construction seems to be right opposite of the german one.

As for example:

Wir haben uns heute einen neuen Fernseher gekauft = We have us today a new TV bought.

Though you?d say:.......................................................= We (have) bought us a new TV today.

This comes only with experience, reading and writing alot. You can?t teach that.

But then again, I think it?s harder to learn the german language than vice versa, which why it isn?t very popular.

Thx for the funny read anyway.

Excellent

Don't forget that we in America Park in our driveway, then we go for a drive on the Parkway.

Salute to those who speak more than one language.

Tulla

Tenses are based on time. Past, present and future.

We (have) bought us a new TV today. (past)

Today we bought a new TV(past)

Tommorrow I am going to buy a new TV.(future)

Right now I am buying a new TV.(present)

Now I see a duck.

Yesterday I saw a duck.

Yes thx Sandman. I am aware of this. In this case it is present, past and past perfect, to be exactly.

What I?m wondering about is, that some irregular verbs are the same in past and past present (saw, saw or bought, bought), while others are not (fell, fallen or rose, risen). I am wondering about the sense behind this difference.

Or are they called irregular because of this ?

An almost quote from my College English professor concerning English grammar:

"You are not allowed to ask "why" in this class. There is no answer - none of it makes

any sense, so we aren't going to waste time on trying to fix that. Just accept that

there is one rule: there are no accurate rules to govern a language that is based on a

conglomeration of many languages, all tossed together, each with their own set of

rules - hence, no rules."

English is a subject (noun) verb(action) object (person place or thing) ordered language, unlike many European languages that are subject object verb. EXCEPT when it's a question, then it's verb subject object -ie,

It is raining.

Why is it raining?

But, don't ask me WHY !

B.S. English Ed grades 5-12th

This answers the question of why I didn't specialize as ESL teacher (english as a second language)!

Rb Tullamore-Dew... get with ToW_TigerGixxer.. you'd have fun exchanging, as he is adept at German except

to speak it much like your problem with English... "A german will never learn proper english at school. They may learn the words, how to spell them and how to speak them but when it comes to a complex conversation, they?ll be lost."

Good stuff!!!

Tulla I am quite impressed with your command of the english language, you seem to have the concept of its usage down!

Your reply to my border patrol post, shows me that you can conceptualize in english, that sir is a huge step!

S! J

I was never too interested in English grammar. They didnt teach why or how the language worked when I was taught, and I am sure that how they still teach it unless you major in it. I was just told that sometimes this does this and that does that and you accept it for a reason. Sometimes you don't need to know how or why things work, just accept that they do. I found some info on the Internet as I am sure you have looked as well HERE. Seems it has to do with the root of the word and its origins.