Now, Burton doesn't wish to cause alarm.... BUT
I can?t be the only one worried about this Large Hadron Collider experiment scheduled for tomorrow, can I ?
This represents a bit of a dilema for Burton. You see I am a bit of a techy and definitely into science, I have little time for your Arts, although I confess I have seen the beauty in the odd 'Artistic' Scandinavian Still Life. But I can't help thinking an Art Galery is a cold room with a high ceiling crying out to be a technical library. Ffftft the Art?s !! Can anyone tell me why oh why we subsidize Opera and bloudy Ballet !! For heavens sake, how can any self respecting society consider itself "developed" when they subsidize Opera and Ballet when in our Cities and Villages there are people struggling along with single core AMD processors and 2M broad band links, outrageous, PRIORITIES AND VALUES !!
Its not like I am into your Scientology or anything like that, although Travolta and 'Lofty' Cruise have knocked out some good movies, but I am intensely drawn to the enormity of the questions we may soon get answers for from this Large Hadron Collider.
Jee?s, think about this?. They are going to recreate the big bang, the beginning of time?. Within the Large Hadron Collider?s 27km circular tunnel, beams of protons will be accelerated to up to 99.999999% of the speed of light. Two of these beams will be fired at each other and when they crash together they will generate concentrations of energy resembling those that occurred during the first trillionth of a second after the BIG BANG. Quite what will happen or be created is not known ( which is a nice comforting thought ) but some predict we will create a tiny Black Hole.
Now the guys doing this are CERN, the people that brought us the World Wide Web, a bunch of seriously clever sods, based in Geneva ? Switzerland. And while some predict the planet will be consumed by this Black Hole The CERN boffs say "no, it?s all going to be fine ... here have a toblerone...."
WELL ? my fellow sheep, here?s what worries Burton. Burton has found out that half this freeking tunnel is built in FRANCE !! And you just know when they fire these beams at each other ? they?ll bloudy MISS !